hotelmario:

bobshit:

what are snails even trying to do

their best

(via thevanityunfair)

oomshi:

time to do some spring cleaning

*wipes crumbs off bed*

done

(via thevanityunfair)

ju-ke:

i’m tasteless but so is water and we all need that

(Source: neptunain, via pizza)

thesexosaurus:

"Condoms don’t work."

"Your first time is supposed to hurt."

"It’s not really sex if there’s no penetration."

"Girls don’t masturbate."

image

(via royalcamaro)

misanclrist:

hmu if u wanna date a piece of shit

(Source: dumbgay, via kaanyewests)

when you hold the door for someone and they don't say thank you
mindpalce:

mindpalce:

huntereve18:

carry-on-my-wayward-butt:

mildly-intoxicated:

my favourite picture on tumblr ever

I AM LAUGHING SO HARD BECAUSE I THOUGHT OF 22 AND I SAID “TOOTY TWO” OUT LOUD AT 4AM OH GOD

Threety three

Fourty four

I have realized my mistake

notwifi:

um hi, my friend wants to know if you think im hot

(via nicoldemort)

accioabaddon:

accioabaddon:

capn-devdev:

accioabaddon:

accioabaddon:

there was nailpolish standing in front of me and I accidently ended up putting it on my nails, this shit is freaking hard, this is why I’m a male.

LITERALLY MY WHOLE THUMB IS BLUEHOW DO I REMOVE DIS SHIT

Nail polish remover, sweetie.

Well okay I found some luckily

let’s try this shit out.
IS THIS LIKE A HARRY POTTER POTIONS JFC, THIS IS FUCKING MAGIC. I SWEAR.


they are here to learn from the professionals.